Friday, 20 December 2013

Lightning Process, a chronicle

So.  I've just completed the Lightning Process training.  For the last three days, I've been working with a trainer and one other attendee to learn the background to the LP, the process itself, and how and when to apply it.

It's been an interesting few days.  I have definitely seen changes already, and I want to chronicle them here.

After day 1, I couldn't stand the idea of going back to the B&B and holing up for the rest of teh day.  Instead, George and I went for a walk, which was short only because we ran out of village pretty quickly!  We napped, and I woke up with relaxed, calm shoulders and no aches or stiffness in my legs.

Day 2: I didn't need to eat the biscuit with my morning coffee!! This sounds odd, I know, but I have a habit of grabbing every treat I can, because I don't trust life to be good to me.  More walking (exploring Diss!) after training, and a good night's sleep.

Day 3: didn't even think about the biscuit this morning!  In other days, I'd have eaten it, and the one that George didn't want, just because it was there and I *could*.  This was the hardest day of my training; I was dûing some pretty harsh self-doubt regarding my ability to stick to the method.  (Dûing is a concept of the method.  The idea is that we are not passive subjects to afflictions like fatigue, doubt and anger; they are a product of ourselves.  Therefore, it is something we are 'doing'.  However, because it in unintentional and unconscious, we need to distinguish it from intentional action, hence the new word, 'dûing'.  If we are dûing something, we are active participants in teh process- and most importantly, we can stop dûing it!)

I got through day 3 - today - with some pretty intensive coaching, and felt all the better and 'lighter' for it.  George drove us back to his place, and I drove myself home.  The first time I'd driven since starting the course.  And Wow!!  What a difference!  My brain felt clear, light, open and aware.

At home, I've used the process several times already.  I've used it to:
  • decide that wine is not what I really want right now - but I can have some later if I still want (guess what: I don't!);
  • dispel some achy, anxious tension that was building up in my belly and legs;
  • decide that I really was going to put the rest of the dinner I'd cooked in the  fridge, instead of eating more myself;
  • allow myself to have a break mid-way through the washing up, as my back was starting to feel sore.
As part of stopping dûing my self-doubt, I promised myself that I would use the process, putting my needs above the perceived desires of other people if necessary, as much as I need to.  As a reminder, I wrote PROMISE on my left wrist in biro.  Because I'm not back in the office until the New Year, I will keep renewing my PROMISE until it's either well on the way to becoming automatic, or until I have to move my reminder elsewhere for professional reasons!